You wouldn't spike me, you're too mean. A little before your time. Have another look in that shed. What is it? Oh, how I tried not to. When that moment comes, one's ambition ceases. [voiceover] Withnail: Jake: You're not in the same boat. Withnail hands Marwood the bag of shopping and jumps over the wall to safety. Of course you are! Hey, give us a wheeze on that fag. Get into the countryside. 2010 Drama 24M views 2 years ago Uncle Monty - the end of an age ohheckforgotusername 157K views 11 years ago Withnail & I 30. My heart's beating like a fucked clock! A Massachusetts man was sentenced to probation for running an illegal hare trapping operation in Maine. It's the only solution to this intense cold. Don't threaten me with a dead fish! Find the exact Danny: Come on, old boy. Bastard asked me to understudy Konstantin in The Seagull. I say, you know what we should do? Do you realise this gaff's overrun with rodents? I ain't got no pheasants, ain't got no birds. Who says it's a Camberwell Carrot? You're simply blackmailing your emotions to avoid the realities of your relationship with him. And we want them here, and we want them now! Bastard asked me to understudy Konstantin in The Seagull. Marwood: What is all this "tactical necessity" and "calculated risk?!" Danny: Relax, man, find your neutral space. Be seated. What makes you possibly think I've got anything for your pot? Marwood: Get out of it for a while. Withnail: 1 comment. The greatest decade in the history of mankind is over. A self-sustained nicotine-yellow and fly-blown lung. Goes into court in his kaftan and a bell. Must be 20,000 sheep up there on those volcanoes, we've got a plate full of carrots. Marwood: *Bastards*! And yet, to me, what is this quintessence of dust? I called him a ponce. They don't like me being on stage. Jake: Marwood: Uncle Monty: Get that damned little swine out of here! I must be out of my mind. Marwood: Monty: Withnail: You mean we've come out here in the middle of f***ing nowhere without aspirins? Uncle Monty: Oh! Withnail: Right you f***er, I'm going to do the washing up! She said she'd closed. We're not from London! No, no, you can't. [voiceover] Give me a downer, Danny. If I hadn't told him you were active we'd never have got the cottage. I'll show the lot of you! He won't gore you. Oh, bollocks to the Wellingtons. You lose, you gain Makes no difference so long as you keep taking the pills. Withnail: Withnail: [holding up a Fairy Liquid bottle with a strap and a tube]. Withnail unfolds the note and hands it to Monty. We're doing a feature for Country Life. He says he won't come in for lunch without an apology. Withnail: Just because the best tailoring you've ever seen is above your fucking appendix doesn't mean anything! A cat, and the rain Vim under the sink, and both bars on. Marwood: I'm good-looking. And the Coalman looks at him and says "You think *you* look normal, your honour?" Course you have, you're the poacher. [clearly drunk] They can handle the kaftan, they can't handle the bell. Got a randy bull up there. Suits me. Go with it. Surrounded by trees and nature one feels a *glorious* stirring on the senses, a rejection of *poisonous* inhibition, and a *fecund* motion of the soul. But old now, old. 100% Upvoted. [overtaking a car on the motorway] Withnail: Scrubbers! I can never touch meat until it's cooked. Be seated. Marwood: And if I spike you, you'll know you've been spoken to. Withnail: Marwood: extends arm with umbrella straight up to sky, seeing a road sign reading "ACCIDENT BLACK SPOT. Marwood: Why don't you wash up occasionally like any other human being? You are invited to spend an hilarious weekend in the English countryside. What is all this tactical necessity and calculated risk? How noble in reason! I have just finished fighting a naked man! Who f***s arses? Monty: Sort of said it without thinking. I feel unusual. What should we do? Outvie him. Don't look, don't look! The police, Miss Blennerhassett. [on top of a hill, shouting into a valley, his voice echoing] Who fucks arses? Marwood: Withnail, you bastard, wake up. Policeman 2: Withnail: What happened to my agent? I'm in considerable danger here, I must get out of here at once. Withnail: [voiceover] [eyes filling with tears] I'll sleep here. Withnail: Beastly, ungrateful little swine! [after a phone call with his agent] Oh, of course you are. Marwood: For reasons I can't really discuss with you, he had to go to Jamaica. I'll be sprouting bloody feelers soon. Withnail: My brain's capsizing. I often wonder where Norman is now. [Marwood knocks on the door of a farmhouse. Withnail: Jesus Christ! You bloody fool, you should never mix your drinks! Before I became a journalist I was in the Territorials. This is the reason bald-headed men are uptight. - Monty: Youre going to finish the vegetables. [a live chicken is standing on the table]. If The Crow and Crown ever had life it was dead now. There must and shall be aspirin, or I shall die, here, on this fucking mountainside! Be seated. Withnail: Marwood: (Voice-over) Even a stopped clock tells the right time twice a day, and for once I'm inclined to believe Withnail is right. [the man who called Marwood a ponce gets up and walks over to them. My heart's beating like a f***ed clock! Always full of women staring out of windows, whining about ducks going to Moscow. It will die, it will die! Marwood: (Voice-over) Danny's here. [Withnail picks up a bottle of lighter fluid]. There can be no true beauty without decay. I know how you feel and how difficult it is. How dare you tell him I'm a toilet trader?! We're working on a film up here. [Withnail laughs uncontrollably and drops to the floor]. Uncle Monty: Oh my boys, my boys, we are at the end of an age! He doesn't have any friends. These mom & son quotes will help you describe your love for him. Danny: If I medicined you, you'd think a brain tumour was a birthday present! Monty: Maybe he's written this in some moment of drunken sincerity! We live in a land of weather forecasts and breakfasts that set in, shat on by Tories, shovelled up by Labour, and here we are, we three; perhaps the last island of beauty in the world. I invented it in Camberwell, and it looks like a carrot. Thought I was going for a minute. [a poacher enters the pub with pheasants stuffed under his coat, making him look like a hunchback]. Uncle Monty: Oh, my boys, my boys, forgive me. He went to the other place, Monty. Screaming like a madman he moves towards the bull, which turns around and runs back through the gate. Maybe he f***s arses! Especially that. Irishman: Peter Marwood (I): We want the finest wines available to humanity! Danny: This was more like a long white hat. You beastly little parasite, how dare you! He gags and gasps]. He wants to get down there and have sex with those cows. Listen to me, listen to me! [after coming out of a field, Withnail hasn't closed the gate properly, and a bull walks through it. Jake: Withnail: Withnail: Withnail: I can't. And this one has a definite imbalance of hormone in him. Withnail: Hold on, don't let your imagination run away with you Marwood: Imagination! Withnail: These are the sort of windows faces look in at! I've been watching you, especially you, prancing like a tit. My partner's got a really good idea for making dolls. [the bedroom door slowly opens and the intruder enters with a torch]. 2 pound 10 a tit and a fiver for his arse! Then you gotta change its drawers for it. Withnail: You want me to call what's-his-name and ask him about his house? Browse Recommendations; Choice Awards; Genres; Giveaways; New Releases; Genres 'S alright, 's alright, s'alright We're going, our car has arrived! If you're hanging onto a rising balloon, you're presented with a difficult decision. You're not leaving me in here alone. Now that represents a degree of hypocrisy I've hitherto suspected in you, but have not noticed due to highly evasive skills. [telephoning his agent] We're doing our best to make sure our content is useful, accurate and safe.If by any chance you spot an inappropriate comment while navigating through our website please use this form to let us know, and we'll take care of it shortly. I do. Talk:Withnail and I. Those are the kind of windows faces look in at. I tried not to. Danny: Tea Shop Proprietor: No need to get uptight, man. Monty, Monty! Monty: Wake up you bastard, or I burn this bastard bed down! How dare you call me inhumane! I've no idea. Free to those who can afford it, very expensive to those who can't. Marwood: [pointing at a table] The beauty of the world! And yet, to me, what is this quintessence of dust? Matter. You can use the left-hand menu to view some of the most popular quotes from the main Withnail and I characters . Marwood: Marwood: Marwood: I have a heart condition, if you hit me it's murder. Didn't you hear? Withnail: I will say one thing for Monty, he keeps a sensational cellar. What do you want in here? It's got to warm up. Will we never be set free? We are indeed drifting into the arena of the unwell. If you don't remember the sixties, don't worry - neither did they. Marwood: (Voice-over) I could hardly piss straight with fear. I've looked into it. [after having entirely covered himself in muscle embrocation to keep warm] This *is* the morning. This may be the reason bald-headed men are uptight. I would say. Here are found the emeralds, sapphires, carbuncles, topazes, chrysolites, onyxes, beryls, sardius, and other costly stones. What fucker said that? Look out that window, if you see anything, anything at all, tell me. Find your neutral space. You have done something to your brain. Withnail: It's horrible really but they like that, the little girls. Me? It's trying to get itself in with you. These are the best withnail and I quotes. Clip from Withnail & I Rest in happy peace Richard Griffiths ! Marwood: Withnail and I is a 1986 film comedy written and directed by Bruce Robinson and starring Richard E. Grant (Withnail), Paul McGann (Marwood, the "I" of the title), Richard Griffiths (Uncle Monty) and Ralph Brown (Danny). I think the carrot infinitely more fascinating than the geranium. Withnail: I been watching you, especially you, prancing like a tit. I think you've been punished enough. [to Marwood] Very, very foolish words, man. You mustn't blame yourself. I tell you, I've a fuck sight more talent that half the rubbish that gets on television. I don't want to hear it. Them pheasants are for his pot. "I fuck arses." "I'm going to pull your head off, because I don't like your head.". [shouting at his cat] [Marwood is leaving to go to Manchester to do a play. Peter Marwood: That's alright, I'll go alone. Come on lads, let's get home, the sky's beginning to bruise. No fridges, no televisions, no phones. Get into countryside, rejuvenate. The poets represented in the book include the Old Wykehamists John Crommelin-Brown, Lord Alfred Douglas, Robert Ensor, A. P. Herbert, George Huddesford, Lionel Johnson, William Lipscomb, Robert Seton-Watson, Thomas Adolphus Trollope . He's a madman. Listen, I know what you're thinking but I had no alternative. The "I must sleep with you because I've been scared" - convenient isn't it, when you're both half or . Marwood: We want them here and we want them now! He's an expert. Just run at it! report. I hope you guys like our collection. [he pours the lighter fluid down his throat. I'm not going to understudy anybody. Would you like a drink? This suit was cut by Hawke's of Savile Row! I don't advise a haircut, man. There is, youll agree, a certain je ne sais quoi oh so very special about a firm, young carrot.. We want to get in there, don't we? The only programme I'm likely to get on is the fucking news! Withnail: How should I know where we are? Making an enemy of our own future. The school in fiction Poetry. Marwood puts his hand on Withnail's shoulder, they've arrived at the cottage, it's cold and dark, amorously puts his hand on Marwood's arm as he peels vegetables, he pulls its head off and tips some pills out of it, stands barefoot, about to leave Withnail and Marwood's flat. I'm not going to understudy anybody. All hairdressers are in the employment of the government. Thanks! Hello? I'll deal with the water and other plumbings, you can check the fuel and wood situation. I don't want to hear anything. Withnail: I feel like a pig shat in my head. Then why has my head gone numb? Monty: Let him get his drugs out. Well, that can't be sensible, can it? [she still doesn't answer. Balls! General: A coward you are, Withnail! [getting up at the same time] We get in there and get wrecked, then we eat a pork pie, then we drop a couple of Surmontil-50s each. Clearly a myth. This thread is archived. What do you want? Have you been away? Anyway, I loathe those Russian plays. [Withnail suddenly runs out of the pub, so does Marwood], [Marwood is in the pub toilets, after walking past a hulking Irishman who's called him a ponce]. He's going into your room. We've gone on holiday by mistake. I have just narrowly avoided having a buggering, and have come in here with the express intention of wishing one upon you. These aren't accidents, they're throwing themselves into the road! Amy Audrey Locke's 1912 In Praise of Winchester offers an anthology of over 100 pages of prose and verse about Winchester College. And we want them here, and we want them now! Of course he's the fucking farmer! I must be ill. Withnail: Right, you f***er, I'm going to do the washing up. We forgot to bring our Wellingtons. I demand to have some booze! Now, which of you is going to be a splendid fellow and go down to the Rolls for the rest of the wine? Apart from a raw potato, that's the only solid to have passed my lips in the last 60 hours. One of us has got to stay on guard. Im in the same boat. Marwood: No we're not, we're here. I think we've been in here too long. They walk down to the cottage. Makes no difference so long as you keep taking the pills. Withnail: I'll not have this shag sack insulting me! These aren't accidents, they're throwing themselves into the road! This is a British cult classic. Withnail: I think we've been in here too long. Withnail and I is a TV program that first aired in 1970 . [he pulls its head off and tips some pills out of it]. Withnail: My heart's beating like a fucked clock! Is Marwood in love with Withnail? How you feel. Withnail: We've gone on holiday by mistake. Withnail: (Appalled) How dare you! I think it's time to release you from the lgumes, and transfer your talents to the meat. Monty:
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